But the other evening I just went through the motions and when I realized this it shook me a wee bit. Instead of falling asleep quickly, as is my wont, I stayed awake wondering if the ritual had lost it's meaning.
I did a quick scan of my body and my emotions to see if the answer could be found there. I realized I was pushing myself beyond what was healthy for some time. Work and family obligations had brought me to the point where sometimes only sheer determination was getting me through the tasks at hand.
I was weary. And it was having an effect on what I held dear.
So, I took a big breath, asked the Higher Realms for help, and thanked that uncomfortable feeling for alerting me that something was out of balance. I resolved to do better.
I'm still working out the details of how to do better and I may have some missteps throughout the process.
But in the meantime I am focusing on being mindful as I go through my day. And I hope to never again find myself performing a ritual by rote.